Let me start by saying, I love Fiona Apple. Ever since I first read about her in Seventeen magazine, about 15 years ago, I knew that she was not like the other singers of that time. She is soulful, insightful, raw and real. I would spend countless hours after school at my best friend's place patiently waiting for her pictures to load (using dial-up) so I could compose a scrapbook.
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| Framed Work of Art |
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| A Portion of My Collection |
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| Old Poster |
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| Collage I drew. Fiona from Tidal. |
I have numerous import cds of hers. *For you kiddies: Before the time of cell phones with cameras, people had to sneak in recording devices and could charge a lot of money for live cds. Once upon a time, there was a local record shop called Peacock Music. The staff was knowledgable, friendly and really looked out for their customers. Once they even gave me free tickets to a Godsmack show just because they knew how much I loved them. Before my first ever Fiona Apple show back in 2000, an employee of Peacock, Steve, asked me who was opening. Jurassic 5, hmm never heard of 'em. Steve informed me that J5 had some old school beats and that I should be excited to see them. The day of the concert an ex bf, my best friend and another friend all pile in a car and head to Rochester. My best friend gets sick in the car right before we get to the hotel- wait, this is relevant. She stays at the hotel and the three of us go for a walk to the venue. We see the show isn't sold out and manage to swap our four tickets for four front row seats! The day couldn't get any better, right? Wrong. After swapping the tickets we see a tour bus parked out front and flock towards it. There were a couple guys standing in front of it. One was very tall and the other short with long dreadlocks. We took our chances, "excuse me, are you with Jurassic 5?" One guy introduced himself as Chali2na and the other as Akil.
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| Chali2na |
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| Akil |
We talked for a bit outside telling them how we heard of them, and that my friend was sick. Chali2na recommended a great soup place up the road, Akil shook my hand and was all smiles. Then they asked us onto the bus. One of the other members didn't think that was a good idea so we parted ways instead. My friend ended up feeling better and all of us went to the show. It was phenomenal! After the show, in the lobby, we ran into Chali2na again! We introduced him to my sick friend and he gave her a hug. A few members of J5 signed cds for all of us and we left. We waited out near Fiona's tour bus and it was worth it. There were about 30 people out there and she signed autographs and took pictures with fans. I got an autograph and was able to speak to her.
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| Autograph |
I think I said something totally lame like, "I really love your music"- blah I cringe everytime. I should have said something way more profound. Then again, I was only 18. It was by far one of the best nights of my life. I didn't go to another Fiona Apple show until last night. Which was a very different experience than the first time.
This show was originally supposed to be at Mountain Park in Holyoke, MA, about four hours away. My boyfriend and I found out the morning of the show that it was moved to the Calvin Theatre. We arrived around five and exchanged our tickets.
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| Stage before the show |
The venue is pretty small and reminded us of the Strand Theatre in Plattsburgh. I love small shows. It's a totally different experience than being at a place like the Pepsi Arena in Albany. The doors opened at six and I was so excited we had to go right in. The theatre had a bar so we each got one beer and a bottled water. The show started promptly with Blake Mills, Fiona's current guitarist and Sebastian Steinberg on bass. (Sebastian was the bassist for Soul Coughing). I had never heard of Blake Mills so I didn't know what to expect. He's a really great guitarist and were setting the tone for the evening. Then suddenly flahshing lights appear and this really annoying alarm and then the recorded ladies voice of proceeding in single file to the nearest exit. And it just kept going. Someone who worked there even fanned Sebastian, just incase he was the one who set it off. Mills kept playing but finally started mocking the alarm and making jokes and laughing. That thing was so annoying, almost like a car alarm. When the it stopped, two songs later, Mills invited the crowd to make the alarm sound, if we missed it. He played for about 30-40 minutes and Fiona started right around 8.
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| Blake Mills |
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| Sebastian Steinberg |
I could tell immediately she was not the same person/performer I saw twelve years ago. She was improved; confident and sophisticated with the same amount of raw emotion pouring from her soul. Before she seemed almost shy on stage, this time she owned it [the stage]. Again, this theatre was small and Fiona was, understandably, irritated with people talking during the show. The first notice of this was her giving someone a glare in the front row and giving them the "zip-it" sign over her mouth, everyone cheered. The second instance happened right before she sang I Know. Which if you do indeed know, is so captivating. Anyway, before she sang she introduced the song and said "and if the people who keep talking could really just....stop". It was so rude and I'm sure really distracting to her. Speaking of distractions.
I have really unfortunate luck sometimes. We were in row D of the Orchestra seating, which was about ten rows from the stage. Everyone in eye's view remained seated, slightly tapping or whatever to the music. Everyone that is except for the two drunks that sat in front of me and Tom. We shall call them Patsy and Edina.
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| Patsy & Edina |
They showed up late, drink in hand. Fiona played from 8-9:30 and they refilled three times. I'd say Patsy, who was in front of me, was older than me, a bit heavy set and had been beaten with the ugly stick. Edina sat in front of Tom, probably closer to my age and a bit more heavy set than Patsy. They swayed like Ray Charles wailing on the piano which was annoying and sometimes hard to see around. No one else acted this was. It was like an exorcism was taking place. Then the drunk duo began to fist pump to Fiona. Wow, just, wow. But I found that the newest songs were foreign to them so they did not really "seat dance" to those. However, all hell broke loose when the band started to play Criminal. And a crime was committed. Those two drunk trolls stood up and started "dancing". *As a side note: this is why I personally don't drink to the point of being drunk anymore. So, I tapped Patsy on the shoulder and while motioning to me and Tom said we can't see. "Oh, sorry", she says and sits down. Great! Wait, not great. "Sorry" she says again while glaring at me. I said thanks, when she started to say something else I said "we're good, I'm watching the show". The drunks start talking and turning around and say something to me like "We were trying to have a good time. Go to a mellow concert", I said this is a mellow concert. Patsy kept trying to say something to me. All I heard was "Fiona would want us to stand" and just kept staring at me with that sour puss on her face.
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| Sour Puss |
Criminal finshes and the final song of the night starts and they both keep turning to give me dirty looks. The song finishes and everyone starts to give a standing ovation and Patsy turns to me and yells "Don't stand!" And I look her in the eyes and stand and applaud. That's when the fun starts. Patsy then asks me what drain I crawled out of. "You must think your'e something special to act like that". I dismissively wave her off and she mocks me doing it back. She stands and then she turns back around and says I'm not a fan. That if I were a true fan.....and just kept running her mouth. I told her to stop and and that I am trying to watch the show so just stop already. That's when she proceeded to call me a hoe-bag slut, etc. The kid two seats over from her was telling her to stop and watch the show. I just kept looking past her to watch the concert. She kept going off so I finally flipped her the bird. She said something like she's 50 and can kick my ass. I ignored her until she said it a few more times. I got so fed up I gave her the "let's go hands and head-bob". I was ready to tune into my inner JWoww and of course, she did nothing. I think Fiona did two encores and I remember apologizing to the woman next to me over what happened. That woman was a big lady, I certainly wouldn't have messed with her and she said to me that those women were drunk and that she was ready to jump in. We laughed about it. Then the show ended. I could hear the drunks saying that they were going to kick my ass and that they could take me out with one punch. They weren't saying it to me just loud enough so I could hear. So I thought it would be best to let them leave first. We waited at the end of the aisle and they were right next to me. Patsy looked at me stewing like she wanted to say something but didn't. They finally walk by and some nice people let us out . Then I'm approached by a man and his wife, probably in their 50's, and they said they watched the whole thing. The man said the drunk women were being annoying the entire show and that they had my back. They were glad someone finally said something to them and would have gotten security had they tried anything. We all noticed that the drunks were only two people ahead of us and they kept looking back to see where I was. So he and his wife walked us out.
Only I would almost get in a brawl at a Fiona Apple concert and only I would be praised by the onlookers. What a night! Looks like Fiona wasn't the only one who has become more confident and self-assured.
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| I have a terrible camera. |
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| Fiona Glowing |
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Radiant
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Today's sweatpants brought to you by Clntn Cmmnty Cllg
I just have to share this with anyone who wants a good laugh.
We have been in each other's lives for just about 24 years. We are just as much like family as we are friends. We can hang out without having to entertain one another, I can read her expressions and she can read mine. We can have a conversation and not even mutter a word. Her friendship has brought me much happiness, moral support and laughter. It's nice to know that I already have someone to grow old with. 
